well, it's been almost 3 days since her passing. and i have come to terms with it. am no longer in shock. it is strange not to have her around. everywhere i look, it
reminds me of her. she is everywhere. where i am, there she will be next to me. sitting on the couch in fron of the tv..in bed doing my beading or surfing, or when i am cooking in the kitchen. but what i miss the most is when i come home from be it work, store or anywhere, she'd be the first one to greet me.
last night when i got home, i went to the kitchen. i saw thing and the first thing that came out of my mouth was ' hey hobbes'...my ritual greeting for her. i called thing hobbes..*sigh*...anyway, i bought some plants today and planted it on her grave. i bought, a peach astilbe, a pink coralbells, a japanese something ot other and a fern. insyallah, these plants will grow well. these are the plants that thrive in shady areas.
i guess, i was too shocked to tell what happened after all is said and done. when we went to pick hobbes body up, they put her in a bag and then put it in a box. sarah was with us. sarina was in school. sarah saw the box and she was giggling happily. she thought that it was funny for hobbes to be in the box. then when we reached home, i told doc to take her in while i go and bury her. after that, i went into the house and the first thing sarah asked me was where's hobbes. told her that hobbes is not coming in and she is no more. she is dead...sarah started to bawl. she told me that she wanted hobbes and had to pacify her...her with her crying and me with mine.
anyway, a little later one of my friends called me up. trying to catch up with stuff since she had been gone a few days. told her about hobbes and well, by then, my morbid sense of humour had returned. like how i always deal with sadness, i turned it into jokes...yep..just like how i dealt with my parents demise. she asked me if i w
would tell sarina...thinking that it might be hard for her. i honestly thought that it would not matter to sarina. i mean she doesn't seem to care much for hobbes. her favourite being thing. it is her cat after all. anyway, i told carrie that i would not tell her and would just let her think that hobbes is still at the vet and all that. but i changed my mind that evening. i figured she has the right to know too and also i wanted to see what her reaction would be.
what i saw on her face was something so touching and indescribable. well, maybe i can describe it a bit :) after telling her that hobbes is gone..her first reaction..was almost a smile..but it stopped short after my words had sunk in..in an instant, her mouth formed ths big O and her hands went to her mouth..her eyes got huge and she started wailing.. she kept saying she wanted ' hobbey' back...had to hug her
and pacify her a bit. had to remind her of what happened to atok and nenek. then she got all paranoid and asked me if thing would die soon too..told her that i do not know and hopefully, these two cats would last a little bit longer.
it never crossed my mind that her reaction would be as such. i mean, what was i thinking? she practically grew up with them since she was a baby. i had mr.b and hobbes about a few weeks before i gave birth to sarina. she would be in her bouncy and the 2 cats would be playing around her. she invaded their territory..accidently ate their food and all that. to think that i thought, she would not care about what happened to them. sheeesh!.anyway, thank
you all for the kind words. i really apreciate it. just be prepared that for the next few entries..i could be still talking about hobbes :)
here's a picture of sarah with her short hair. i told her to smile but for some reason she thought that i told her to show me what's in her mouth :) a picture of nasi tomato from sri nyer blog , a picture of the blueberry scone and also the new colour of our stairs landing and the hallway.